I've talked about a lot of different Japanese elements that will be in our wedding; sadly, I know more about the Japanese culture than my own. I'm assuming mother Mek had a rough childhood in the Philippines because she prefers not to talk about the Philippines unless asked, and even then it is pretty vague. The little I do know is from my time living in Hawaii. Mr. Mek (if at all possible) knows less than I do about Filipino culture. Although MIL Mek loves her country and is very open about it, Mr. Mek grew up in central PA farmland and just never showed much of an interest in his culture.
I would love to have our Filipino side represented, but I'm not exactly sure how to do that. First let me explain (the little I know) Filipino wedding traditions:
Most of the Philippine's wedding traditions are similar to Spanish and Mexican traditions because of the influence of early 18th century Spanish missionaries where the presence and support of family and friends are important and are symbolized in different ways throughout the ceremony.
Sponsors
Most have special "sponsors" who act as witnesses to the marriage. The principal sponsors could be godparents, counselors, a favorite uncle and aunt, even a parent. Secondary sponsors handle special parts of the ceremony, such as the candle, cord and veil ceremonies.
Unity Coins
The groom gives the bride 13 coins, blessed by the priest, as a sign of his dedication to his wife’s well-being and the welfare of their future children. The priest dribbles the coins into the groom's open palms, trickling like a waterfall into the bride's hands and onto a plate. The trickling of the coins is a sign of fidelity bestowed irrevocably. The thirteen coins or arrhae (from the Spanish word Arras, "earnest money") traditionally symbolizes the groom’s ability of to support his bride and confirms his position as the breadwinner of their future family and represents the sharing of spiritual, emotional, and material wealth and prosperity for each month of the year with an extra to spare assuring luck for the newlyweds and their future family the whole year through and beyond.
Unity Coins
Candles
The candles, lit by the candle sponsors, is a call for enlightenment, a reminder of God's presence in the ceremony. The candle ceremony symbolizes the lighting of the way for the couple.
Veil
The veil sponsors drape and pin the veil (a long white tulle) on the groom’s shoulder and over the bride’s head. This symbolizes the union of two people ‘clothed’ as one, and the union in marriage as husband and wife and expresses the promise of purity, sanctity, faith, loyalty, health and protection as well as the unity of the two families into one.
CordThe cord sponsors stand up with the cord (a silken rope, a string of flowers or links of coins) and entwines the cord loosely around the bride and groom in the form of a figure eight, placing each loop loosely around the neck/shoulder area of the couple. This symbolizes the infinite bond of marriage, a union that lasts a lifetime bound by mutual love.
Cord
Money DanceThe concept of "Money Dance" is that the male guests pay for the privilege of dancing with the bride, and by extension, female guests pay for the privilege of dancing with the groom. The money is to be used for the bride and groom's honeymoon or to give them a little extra money for starting their life together. Plus, it gives each guest a chance to spend a few private moments with the bride or groom.
monies, monies
Money Dance
sources for content: here and here
My issues:
- Most of these traditions are Catholic practiced. I am not religious (at all), let alone Catholic. Can I still pull these traditions off? Notice that in the images of the veil and cord ceremony the bride and groom are kneeling (most likely a Catholic ceremony), I am having an outdoor wedding and would prefer not to kneel in grass. Can I do these traditions standing? Can I do one ceremony without the other (aka, can I pick and choose which traditions I want to do)?
- We are having a VERY small, intimate wedding. As of now we know of about 6-8 family members who are attending. We are not having bridesmaids and groomsmen, let alone sponsors. In fact, as of now, besides my parents there will only be 1 other couple that is still married and they are my age (everyone else is either not married or divorced).
- Having a small wedding, we are not having a traditional reception (taking everyone to a casual luau dinner instead), so no money dance for us.
Filipina Brides, any suggestions? Did I miss anything?
I bought them. And with needle nose pliers and wire cutters I transformed them to this:
